It Is What It Is: Finding Peace in Accepting Life as It Comes

Sometimes in life, no matter how hard we try to twist or turn it, things are just what they are. Whether we look at something from the left, right, up, or down—at the end of the day, it remains unchanged. It is what it is. And learning to accept that can be the game-changer.

We spend so much time trying to control everything, thinking we can change the outcomes or force situations to fit our expectations. I’ve fallen into that trap in my relationships, thinking that if I looked at something from another angle, I'd find a different truth. In reality, the truth was staring right at me the whole time. I just didn’t want to see it.

I remember moments where I believed a relationship was one thing—thinking it was full of love, trust, or understanding—only to eventually realize it wasn’t what I had built up in my mind. It was never going to be what I wanted it to be because it is what it is, and trying to reshape or redefine it only left me frustrated and stuck.

What does being stuck look like? It’s the endless loop of "what ifs" and "if onlys." It's believing that if I could just change this one thing, then everything else would fall into place. But life doesn’t work that way. Life doesn’t bend to our will. You can try to move the pieces around, convince yourself that a situation can be altered, but eventually, you have to accept it for what it is and let go.

Acceptance doesn’t mean defeat. In fact, it’s liberating. Once you realize something is what it is, you free yourself from trying to change it. You stop wasting your energy fighting against the reality and instead, find a way to move forward. Relationships, work, personal growth—none of them are perfect, and they never will be. But when you embrace the truth of what they are, you can let go of the fantasy and start living in the real world.

For me, that realization came slowly over time. I had to stop focusing on what I thought things should be and accept them for what they were—flawed, messy, and uncomfortable, but real. And once I did, I found the space to actually move on, to grow, and to open myself to new experiences that are what they are.

That’s the only way to keep from being stuck. Don’t get lost in what isn’t or what you wish it could be. You’ll just end up chasing shadows. Instead, stand firm in reality. Look at life straight on and say, "It is what it is," and in doing so, you’ll find the strength to move on, grow, and create something new. Something real.

In the end, life is always going to be what it is. It's not what it’s not, and that’s okay. Learning to accept that makes space for freedom, peace, and the ability to live fully, without being weighed down by the things we can’t control.