Lessons from the Heart

I've struggled with accepting things that are happening as a result of series of unfortunate events in my life. I hate to learn " after the fact" when the misunderstanding, or damaged has been created. My heart feels heavy with guilt at first when I acknowledge what happened and where I did wrong or created confusion. Later, through reflection, I come to understand and accept what was done and draw lessons from that experience with the hopes to prevent that from happening again. It hasn't been easy, as I kick my self in the ass with lots of should haves, could haves and would haves's as a form of self punishment which it is indeed self sabotage. Still, in the depth of that heartache,  the most valuable lessons come to surface to help me grow to be and do better.