Don’t Pick the Wildflower

In The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz, there’s a story about a man who claims that love doesn’t exist. He explains that we’ve confused love with attachment, control, and fear. He tells the tale of someone who places their heart, their joy, and their very essence, their "stars," into the hands of another, hoping that person will care for it all. But when that person inevitably drops it, all those stars shatter. And suddenly, love turns into pain.

I’ve lived that story.

I was walking on my own path when I saw her. A wildflower.

There she was: fiery red and orange, freshly organic.
Wild. Alive. Untouched.
Unbothered by the noise of the world. Rooted in her place.

Instead of admiring her, I picked her. I wanted her close. I wanted her to be mine.

She smiled. I smiled back. We shared moments. I felt seen. I made my life about her light, her laughter, her bloom. And for a while, it felt like love.

It was love.
I fell in love with a wildflower.

But wildflowers aren’t meant to be owned.
They grow in the wild for a reason.

When the winds changed, she needed water I couldn’t provide, light I didn’t know how to give, soil that wasn’t mine to offer. She began to wilt.

And so did I.

I thought I was loving her.
But really, I was trying to preserve a moment that was never meant to last as long as I held onto it.

I loved her with what I had.
In my heart, I did love, and I still do.

I fell in love with a wildflower.
Something that was meant to be appreciated, loved, and lived for that moment.
But I tried to hold on.

And it is in that holding, in clinging to what you feel, what your heart gave freely, that the suffering begins.

Now there’s a man.
A little more weathered.
A little wiser.
Who will tell anyone who will listen:

If you ever come across a wildflower, don’t pick it.
Don’t try to own it. Don’t confuse beauty with belonging.
Admire it. Honor it. Let it keep growing where it belongs.

Because love, real love, doesn’t pluck or possess.
It witnesses.
It nourishes.
It lets things be free.

That’s the kind of love I want.