Are You Owning Your Story or Is the Story Owning You?

In my last post, I talked about how the words you use can build you or break you. This one goes deeper into what happens when you keep speaking the same story over and over and how those words can quietly keep you trapped in the past.

There was a time when I believed that sharing my story was part of healing. I thought the more I talked about it, the more I could release it. And for a while, that was true. Speaking my truth gave me understanding, connection, and compassion.

But there came a point when I realized something powerful. I wasn’t healing anymore. I was just repeating.

Whether it was AA, a social group, or a spiritual community, I found myself introducing who I was through what had hurt me.
“Hi, I’m dealing with this.”
“I’m recovering from that.”
“I’m still struggling with…”
Insert your label here.

It became part of my identity. The label started to own me.

When you repeat your story too many times, it stops being release and becomes reinforcement. You end up living inside the same narrative, even when you’ve already outgrown it.

Healing requires a moment when you stop talking about it and start living differently. That’s when silence becomes medicine.

I remember hearing Morgan Freeman once say something about racism and identity. He said, “Stop talking about it.” And it hit me. He wasn’t saying to deny it. He was saying, stop feeding it.

The same applies to trauma, heartbreak, addiction, or any label we’ve carried too long. If you keep giving it air, it keeps breathing.

There’s a time to speak and a time to stop.
There’s a point where telling your story again isn’t healing. It’s habit.

That doesn’t mean you erase your past. It means you’ve learned to hold it differently. You can talk about what happened without getting emotionally pulled back into it. That’s how you know you’ve healed.

So if you’ve been carrying the same story for years, try something different.
Stop talking about it for a while.
Sit in silence.
Live your healing instead of narrating it.

Because your story doesn’t define you. You do.